After inspecting the teams at the fourth annual Real Hoopties of New Jersey race, and having experienced the paint-trading style of driving popular among racers in this area, we knew we we’d be experiencing a high-drama race this weekend. The dust has now settled from the first day’s race session, the teams are firing up the barbecues, and we predict a run on Sawzall blades from the local hardware stores. Here’s how the day went.
Northeastern LeMons racers tend to drive at eleven-tenths, in spite of the best efforts of the LeMons Supreme Court to keep things sane, and this often results in cars that clank into the penalty box looking like this Saab.
When a road-racing Sea Sprite boat (built on an S10 chassis) crunches into another racer, the fiberglass doesn’t fare so well.
Still, some teams managed to stay out of trouble, and the Near-Orbital Space Monkeys finished the day in P1, with a two-lap edge over the P2 car. This team has contended for the win in just about every Northeastern race during the last several years, but nickel/dime mechanical problems have frustrated these Mustang pilots time after time. Today, they fought their way past a half-dozen competitors during the course of the day and got into first place just before the checkered flag.
Leading Class B, improbably, is the bone-stock 1999 Subaru Forester of The Magic School Bus Racing Team. If it rains on Sunday, the all-wheel-drive Subaru ought to increase its class lead even more.
The Class C leader is the googly-eye-covered Little Engine That Couldn’t Toyota Corolla. The subliminal messages hidden in the car’s googly-eye patterns must be scrambling the brains of the class competition.
In honor of Bridgegate the LeMons Supreme Court administered the Governor Christie Penalty, complete with appropriately bulky outfit.
Speedycop’s twin-engined Lincoln Continental got onto the track on Saturday morning, but suffered from transmission problems at both ends and managed just 17 laps.
After getting overall and Class A wins at Gingerman Speedycop needs just a Class B win to have the complete collection of LeMons trophies. His Honda Accordion leapt to an early Class B lead, then threw a couple of rods and limped off the track. No problem, said Speedycop’s Gang of Outlaws, we’ll just remove the broken hardware and make the V6 into a V4. It works, sort of, but it seems unlikely that the Accordion can regain its class lead on Sunday.
That wasn’t the only team to suffer catastrophic engine failure. At least a few dozen teams will spend the night wrestling with heavy chunks of iron.
The real surprise of the day was that the Super Grover Rover 3500 didn’t scatter any important engine or transmission parts on the tarmac. 86 laps, P119 at the end of the day.
After an excellent pasta meal provided by the Alfa racers of the Alfa Romeo Sindicate Eccelente, the weary racers and officials geared up for a no-doubt-wild Sunday. Check in later to see how it all sorts out.
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