Stroll any thriving downtown metro area a few years ago, and you’d invariably spy with-it twentysomethings shod with Toms. They’re the sort of product that you’d like to feel good about—the company donates a pair of shoes to folks in need for every pair you, the benevolent first-worlder, purchases—but they have the unfortunate side effect of branding the wearer as the well-meaning, wholly insufferable type. Fundamentally, they’re the foot-borne analogue of the Toyota Prius.
-And if there’s any sort of footwear more repellent than Toms, it’s the automaker-branded shoe. (Yes, both are somehow worse than Crocs.) Now take a moment and buff the mind’s eyeball with Audi-branded Toms. We’re just gonna let this line from the press release do the talking: “Through TOMS One for One giving program Audi will help change the lives of thousands of children in the United States and empower new customers to be a part of this movement.” The shoes are only available to those who buy or lease an Audi between June 3 and August 4.
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You hear that? Audi is offering you, the consumer the opportunity to be empowered. To be part of a movement! You want empowerment? Sell the Allroad; dump that overpriced, underbuilt mall-adjacent mixed-use condo; buy an efficient motorcycle you can work on yourself; and donate your former car payment to the charity of your choice each month. Wearing the four rings on your canvas kicks? That’s just gonna make you look like an entitled dunce. (They’re also offering kids’ and baby versions of the Audi shoes, because think of the children.) If we’ve found an upside to this venture, it’s that there’s at least one more way to pick out people we don’t want to talk to at parties.
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via Agya
